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| hm. i don't know why i came here.
actually i lied. i know exactly why i'm here.
xanga's the only place that's desolate enough to post some thoughts worth reading without the whole world seeing.
you know. it's kinda funny. when you say you've lost a a friend or loved one. and as in lost, i mean in the sense that, well you know, not having enough time talk to them, not wanting to talk to them, or simply just not wanting to be around them for some reason or another. but when you lose something, that means its gone, never to be found again. losing a friend is different that that, if you could even label it as 'losing' them at all. I've found that it's impossible to actually lose people like that. i think that theres always going to be those rare moments where you find yourself with them talking. and then one of you makes a joke and both of you laugh together.. and the you feel it. that connection, that bond, that something that made you guys friends in the first place, and kept you friends. and then, just then for that one moment, you start to wonder. why did we stop talking? why did we stop being friends? how come things aren't the way they used to be. and you start to miss them. but then again, that feeling only lasts a moment, as those questions are answered when the reason you stopped talking to them comes into perspective. then that moment is gone, as you move on with your life. never knowing the maximum potential that eternal bond ever held. never knowing where that friendship could have gone or how it could have helped you later in life. but you'll always know one thing for sure.
and it's what it's like to miss them.
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| 1043 days of xanga. nice. well i reckon i should update again. prepare for a long one.
so the past two days ive been in the hospital. was quite the nussiance actually.
on wednesday i woke up an hour late for school with a small stomachache. didnt think of it as much so i rushed to school and got there only twenty minutes late. my pain got a little worse but i didnt mind it so much. so then by the end of second period the pain got really bad. i figured id just sleep it off at the nurses office during third. two periods later the pain was still there. my dad called and said i should go home but i wanted to make it through ninth period so i could help present my english project. damn my asian side. so i went back to class during fifth and the ache wouldnt just go away. i decided i might as well just get on the hell home. no project was worth that. i called up my dad again to pick me up and said he would come. but he was coming from brooklyn and im all the way up in the bronx. so i just lied there in the nurses office till like seventh period. by this time im like whimpering in pain. my dad thinks its just a bad case of gas, so he just gives me some peptobismal and we head home. bad choice.
after a dose of the medicine im still sitting there, whimpering. my dad decides to take me to the hospital so back in the car we go. as i was walking out of the house, i got really dizzy and vomitted. i didnt have the patience to care so i just hopped in and he drove to the hospital. when we got there i lied down on these cold steel benches. the nurse walking by saw how much pain i was in and decided to see me next. she said it could be more serious than just a stomachache but she didnt know what. so she put me on a bed in the hallway until she could find a room for me. a couple hours later some doctors see me. they tell me to drink this entire bottle of contrast, a clear liquid, with a very unpleasant taste. the bottle was so that when they get a ct scan from me, the liquid i would drink would make it easier for them to see whats going on inside me. i downed almost the whole bottle, despite its soapy flavor. i lied their for a couple hours waiting to be x-rayed. the pain started to fade though, so it wasnt so bad. soon the nurses came back and took me to the room to get scanned. when the results came back, two nurses said it wasnt serious. by this time it was already eleven. i was exaushted, starved, and ready to go home. so once i got the okay they sent me on my way. man, i should've stayed.
my dad bought me soup and i had just opened the lid and turned on the tv. the phone rang and it was the hospital. they were urging me to go back because they looked closer at the x-rays and said it looks like appendicitis. go google it if your lost. so i was back by midnight and the doctors started feeling around my stomach. when they felt the right side i felt a sting and thats when they knew it was appendicitis. at one a.m., i was prepped for surgery and already on the operating table. they put on the gas mask and told me to count backwards from a hundred. dont remember much after that.
i woke up around two or three a.m. i remember the nurses screaming at me to breathe. i was concious enough to hear some of them speaking. they said that they had given me too much morphine to numb the pain and it slowed my breathing by a lot. they said if i didnt get enough oxygen, it could damage my brain. well more than it is already. so i took deep breathes as best i could, but it tired me out. i felt them put an oxygen mask on me and thats when i drifted back to sleep.
now its seven a.m., thursday. my mom is asleep at my side while a nurse takes my temperature. i feel pain in my side again but it wasnt as bad as before. i look at my side and there are a bunch of metal staples in my skin. its not as bad as you think, but it was pretty cool.
so they sent my home today. wont be back in school till thursday. wow am i gonna have a lot to catch up on.
ive been pretty isolated the last few days. i could use a good laugh or two. drop a line if ya can. im not going anywhere. trust me. | | |
| and what a perfect day it was.
weather-wise. and..... otherwise.
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| xnyCzVinC3x: whats transmittance?
thegeneric idiot: part of the total energy that passes through somethin
xnyCzVinC3x: put it in lamemans terms
xnyCzVinC3x: wait i think i get it
thegeneric idiot: that was lamemans terms
xnyCzVinC3x: if u shine light through a green "transparent" paper
xnyCzVinC3x: it will only show the green and absorb the rest
thegeneric idiot: ::clap clap::
thegeneric idiot: now only if i could teach you to roll over | | |
| BoOtiFuL deNii: i will proabbly suck at guiatr too
BoOtiFuL deNii: and then i think
BoOtiFuL deNii: you will wanna murder me
BoOtiFuL deNii: loll
thegeneric idiot: nah
thegeneric idiot: i suck too
thegeneric idiot: so we can suck together!
thegeneric idiot: boy did that come out wrong | | |
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